IBS: He knows our every thought...

Isaiah 55:9—

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Heaven is above the earth, yet Jesus came down. His thoughts are above ours, but He sends them down. Like I talked about yesterday, it is important to know the difference between my own will and the will of the Lord, to hear His voice and know it is His. But it’s also important to know that His voice and the words He gives us are a gift. A blessing. He is in heaven, high above us, with a will above ours and thoughts above ours, yet He spends His time speaking with us lowly beings.

Something that popped into my head while reading was that His thoughts are so superior to ours that He can see into our thoughts. He knows everything about every single one of us. That means He knows what we can and cannot handle. In the midst of desolate places when our spirits are downtrodden and mournful we can take comfort in the fact that He knows us, He knows that whatever we are going through, we can handle. It’s comforting to know that His ways are so far above our own that He can carry us through anything the world has to offer us, and anything our flesh offers up to our souls as a stumbling block.

Written: 9/22/11

IBS: The Lords Will vs. My Voices

Isaiah 55:8—

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

Why would you want your master, protector, provider, first love, and best friend to have the same thought process as you? I thank God everyday that my ways are not His ways. My ways are selfish and weak. Jesus’ ways are selfless and strong. It is imperative to know the difference between the will of the Lord and the voice in my head. I get so confused, thinking the good things I want for myself must be from the Lord because they are good. I need to align myself with the will of the Lord. Align my heart with Jesus’ heart. I want to be able to know the difference between the things Jesus tells me and the things I tell myself. I am going to do this by continuing to draw near to Him through spending my mornings in His Word, which He has given to me, and be in constant communion with Him.

IBS: There's A Battle That's Raging...

Isaiah 55:7—

Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thought; let him return to the Lord, that He may have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.

There is a battle that’s raging for all that I am. A battle going on around me and in me all the time, pulling my heart and mind in a million different directions. I begin my morning with wicked thoughts and they come in a continual stream throughout the day. In order to forsake my ways of this unrighteousness, I need to be willing to fight. If I return to the Lord he will intercede for me (Romans 8:26) and fight on my side. He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire (Psalm 46:9)

Yes there is a battle after my life, and I know that I can obtain victory. But I need to prepare myself each morning to fight through the day. To do this, I need to “…be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil… (Ephesians 6:10-11). I need to take hold of the thoughts that are given to me from an unwanted source and give them up to the Lord. I need to take every step in line with my Savior. I need to align my heart and my will with his. I am going to strive to memorize 2 Corinthians 10:3-7 and apply it daily.

For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience when your obedience is complete. Look at what is before your eyes. If anyone is confident that he is Christ’s, let him remind himself that just as he is Christ’s, so also are we. 

IBS: Saved Soul, But Wasted Life?

Isaiah 55:6—

Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon him while he is near

The first thing that came to mind after reading this verse was what I learned at Freshlife Church yesterday. We studied Joshua 11. Verse 20 says “For it was the Lords doing to harden their hearts…” Pastor Levi talked about how the Lord seeks us out, He desires us to love Him, but He won’t wait forever. After forty years of seeking this people group the Lord finally hardened their hearts and stopped seeking them out.

If you put off making a decision, time will make it for you. You can get so good at saying “No” to God that you’ll come to a point where you wont be able to say “Yes.” A hardened heart will eventually get stuck.

Jesus is seeking you! Don’t waste that opportunity!

For me, I sought the Lord and found that He had been patiently waiting for me. I was overwhelmed with His love for me. Just because I am a follower of Christ now doesn’t mean I get to sit back and relax and enjoy the ride until I get to heaven. We are not called to be Christians just to have Fire Insurance. We are not called to be Saved Souls, but Wasted Life. Yes Jesus is inside of my heart and a part of my life, but He is still seeking me, seeking my life. He is near to me and I need to call upon Him and continually draw near to Him, especially now. I need to continually seek the Lord. It is easy to say, I have found Jesus therefore I don’t need to continue to seek. I need to seek Jesus daily because He always has new things for me.

Written: 9/19/11

IBS: Unworthy

Luke 17:10—So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’”

I am unworthy. I am an unworthy servant. None of us are worthy to do the work we’ve been called to. The only way we are able to accomplish anything at all is because of the Holy Spirit who lives within us. When left to ourselves we are nothing but filthy rags. My prayer is that the spirit inside my chest and my Jesus inside of my heart would prompt me to open my eyes to things that haven’t been asked of me, and do more than my duties. I want to be as useful as possible in Africa or wherever I go, I want to be tuned into the work that needs to be done without needing every single step drawn out for me. I want to be as effective a possible. Jesus, lead my hands and my feet to where the work needs to be done. Give me a cheerful spirit as I work at tasks that would not be my first choice. Help me to be diligent and rejoice in all that is placed in front of me. 

IBS: Servant-hood

Luke 17:9—Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded?

Jesus asks this question so that we will stop and think? Am I taking acts of service that people bestow upon me for granted? Take the staff here at the ranch for example. Courtney, Jo, Berta, Justin, Kline, Kelly, all of the staff members and pastor here, it is easy to think that it is part of their duties, part of their job description to be here and make us food and clean the property, therefore it isn’t an act of service. But if you take the time to watch closely, as I have been lately, they put their heart into what they do. Yes, they have duties, but they do them out of love, and I find myself taking their service for granted.

I need to be appreciative for the things that people do for me whether or not they were instructed to do it, or if it was a simple act of service from their heart. 

IBS: The Economy of God

Luke 17:8—Will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink’?

As a Christian, I am a willing bondservant of love to my Savior Jesus. This means I am committed to serve Him with every breath of everyday. I am committed to serving Him all the way; doing everything He has placed in front of me to the best of my abilities and being thorough in all that I do.

It’s a stretch though. I have been raised in a culture that has taught me to put myself above anyone. My needs. My desires. It’s all about survival, and doing anything you have to in order to live the life you want to live. I have grown up in a nation that spends $300 on a pair of sunglasses and maybe every once in a while throws some quarters at a man fishing through a trash can for his weekly meal.

Growing up in a home of 10 people I was always encouraged to have a servants heart. If you get up from the couch to get yourself water, ask if anyone else wants some. Ok, easy enough. I would do so, but secretly be hoping that nobody wanted anything. I have always been so focused on myself. What do I want? What do I need? Who is here to serve me? It’s such a sad mind-set.

Something I hear pastors talk about a lot is the economy of God. Since I committed myself to Jesus Christ, I am no longer a part of this economy. I am a part the economy of God! However, I didn’t quite grasp this concept until I removed myself from my normal culture and came to the ranch. Talk about culture shock! The culture in the economy of God is one of servant-hood, self-sacrificing love, and pure humility. All foreign things to me! After three months here, my mind has been untwisted. I am no longer wrapped up in and around myself, but have actually found myself in the midst of joy when I have the opportunity to serve. I get annoyed when I see someone not finish their chores all the way, complaining about what they have been asked to do, or not doing it to the best of their ability. I don’t mean to say that I am the best servant, but I am learning, and I can feel myself growing in this area.

The Latin translation of the word minister is servant. I am here, going through the Ignite program; to learn how to minister to people through my daily life, the best way to do so, serve! We all need to tune in to what God wants of us, and I believe He wants us to be filled with Him so much that we desire to serve others.

I need to be mindful of the fact that everything I do is a witness of the God I serve. I need to be checking myself. Is my moment-to-moment life proclaiming Jesus? Is my servant-hood proclaiming my first love, Jesus?

IBS: Humility

Luke 17:7—“Will an one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and recline at table’?

I picked up my morning devotion this morning and read:           

If I have not compassion on my fellow-servant, even as my Lord had pity on me, then I know nothing of Calvary Love

If I belittle those whom I am called to serve, talk of their weak points in contrast perhaps with what I think of as my strong points; if I adopt a superior attitude, forgetting “who made thee to differ? And what hast thou that thou hast not received?” then I know nothing of Calvary love.

            —Amy Charmichael (From the book “If”)

How easy would it be to look at the people of Africa and think that I am there to serve them because I am superior to them? How easy would it be to see them on the street begging for money or food and throw their needs their way without taking the time to hear their story or get to know them at all? How easy would it be to belittle those who have virtually nothing? I am the same, if not worse, than the people I will encounter. I know that the people of Africa have so much to offer and so much to teach me, but I must go into this time in life with an open mind. I must step of the plane and be ready to learn, not ready to teach. I want to take these people and look at them as friends, and family. I want to hold them on the same level as anybody that I know here in America and sit at a table to dine with them and glean from their wisdom. 

IBS: Hothouse

Luke 17:6

And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘be uprooted and planted in the sea.’ And it would obey you.

In the previous verse the apostles ask the Lord to increase their faith. People here explain the ranch and our time here as a ‘hothouse,’ A place where we can grow in our faith and be strengthened with out the hindrance of too many distractions. We’re in class studying the Word, and things that surround it daily, constantly surrounded by Christian fellowship. We are here to build one another up and be built up. We are in a small box overflowing with faith and love.

Since I’ve been here at the ranch there are fewer distractions, less things to entangle themselves around my ankles and pull me down. I still have struggles but

I know that when I go out the mission field my faith will be tested, and my strength will be tried. This verse is so encouraging; to know that even if I have faith as a grain of mustard seed I can still accomplish the will of God. I need to hide this verse away in my heart so that while I’m broken and beat on the field I can remind myself that I’m not useless. If I have faith as a grain of a mustard seed I can do wild things in the name of the Lord.  

Written: 9/12/11

IBS: Following Hard

Ephesians 4:31—

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Look at yourself, examine the corners of your heart mind and soul. Is there any amount of bitterness, wrath, anger…anything that would be displeasing to God? Yes, we all have things that are ugly and dark about us. I am striving to follow hard after God, to be a woman after Gods own heart. To do so, I must confront these dark parts of my heart and throw them away.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

—Philippians 4:8

IBS: Ephesians 4:30

Ephesians 4:30—

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

God sealed us for the day of redemption. Each of us individually. He knows us and He has a place for us. Why would we ever grieve Him? How could we?

There as so many different ways we could grieve the Lord, but the one that as of late has resonated inside me comes in the form of love. Pastor Don taught us this week that God will allow our love for Him to be tested. We should despise any relationship that is more precious to us than Jesus. I have thrown myself into things and relationships whole-heartedly and been blind to the fact that Jesus began to fall to the wayside when it came to my priorities.

God sealed me for the day of redemption. Has anybody or anything on this earth done something like that for me? Has anybody or anything loved me in the way that my savior has loved me? Has anyone or anything even come close? No. So how could I possibly love anyone or anything more than Jesus? When I really think about it, I break my own heart. I can only imagine how it hurts my Father in heaven.

I need to wake up every morning and tell Jesus how much I love Him. I need to keep Him on the throne of my heart mind and soul. I need to be sensitive to sin so that I do not grieve my first and foremost love. 

IBS: Speech of Grace.

Ephesians 4:29—

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that I may give grace to those who hear.

In the last week and a half we’ve learned to put off our old self, leave no room for Satan, put away falsehood, and turn our thieving into laboring; all of these are good and noble, but perhaps the most important thing we have yet to discus. Our speech should be a reflection of our heart, “The mouth is a mirror we must watch what we say”—Sleeping At Last. If we are filled with the love of the Lord than we should have a constant outpour of the love of the Lord, and corrupted speech is not of Jesus. As a body of Christ we should be seeking opportunities to bless each other with words of grace. We need to be building each other up in the way of our speech.

I need to think more before I speak and contemplate how the words that come from my mouth will affect the hearer. Am I blessing them or am I tearing them down? Speech sprinkled with grace is important to me, and I want to be better at portraying that. 

IBS: Thieving

Ephesians 4:28—

Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.

A thief who no longer steels is a man who has repented. He has laid down his old life so that he could find new life in Jesus Christ. Pastor Richard Cimino once said, “Don’t let these pagan values and passions bend you. Prepare your hearts. Get your hearts perpendicular. Get your hearts established, rendered sure and firm. And there’s only one place where the heart can be established…only one place where the heart is rendered sure and solid. And that’s why Samuel said, ‘Return to the Lord with all that you are, then comes the preparations of the heart.’ When you turn to the Lord, He does what you cant. He straightens what sin had bent. He makes sure what had been corrupted and weakened…victory in the Christian life begins with our heart. In the book of Proverbs it says keep your heart with all diligence for from it proceed the issues of life. And as we come to the Lord we say ‘Lord what are the things that need to change in my heart…And if you’re looking at your life and there’s a bunch of defeat in it maybe you need to go to the Lord and say, ‘Lord, I think I’ve just been playin’ but I want to be real.’”

Don’t be bent by your flesh, or your old self, which you have put off. Take your worldly passions and turn them toward the Lord. Give everything that is not pleasing to Jesus and use them to labor for Him. In doing this, in laying down our sin at the foot of the cross and offering ourselves to be used by the Lord we will be able to share our joy and our Jesus with anyone in need.

I need to realize the things that I hold onto, and the worldly passions that have their claws buried in my flesh. I need to strip them from myself and through them away. I need to begin each day at the foot of the cross so that Jesus can give me strength to make it through my day without these habits and desires. 

IBS: The Predator and The Pray

Ephesians 4:27—

And give no opportunity to the devil.

Satan is stronger than me, but he is not stronger than God who is in me.

This verse makes me think of horses. The other day I was out riding horses and as I was talking to Margret (Pastor G’s wife) I told her it was intimidating, knowing full well that the horse was holding my life. In one quick motion it could choose to take off in a gallop or buck me off. I was afraid of the horse, but then she explained to me something that shocked me. Horses see humans seven times bigger than we actually are, so to them, we tower over them, and we are the threat.

The devil is like that to me. He seems bigger than me; he seems like something that I should be afraid of. The things he throws at me stumble me and stand in my way, but I need to realize that as long as I have Jesus on my side, Satan is afraid of me. I am the predator and he is the pray. I have the power to say, “In the name of Jesus, I rebuke you!” and as for the things that he puts in my path, well I’m learning how to recognize them as what they are and who they are from. It’s still a battle, but with Jesus on my side I know I will win. I desire nothing less than for the devil to have no opportunity for anything in my life. I long for him to leave me alone once and for all, but as long as I’m carrying my sword for Christ, he’ll be there to battle me. I need to remember that I’m in control. I have no need to fear, for Christ is with me!

Someone once told me that if you feel like you are being spiritual attacked it’s probably because you are! If Satan is after you it’s because you’re a threat to him, and he knows you’re going to do great things for the Kingdom of God. In Acts chapter 19 the evil spirit says to the seven sons of Sceva, “Jesus I know, and Paul I recognize, but who are you?” The enemy only knows your name if your know Jesus. If you are truly following hard after the Lord in a selfless faith, working towards the expanding of the kingdom, till the whole world hears…Satan will know you. You want Satan to know you by name, to consider you an enemy, because if Satan considers you and enemy, Jesus considers you a friend. Along with this responsibility of being an enemy of Satan and friend of Jesus, you must be prepared to fight, to give no opportunity to the devil. 

IBS: Don't Let The Sun Go Down

Ephesians 4:26—

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger

The Lord never ceases to amaze me! Just last night I was talking to Jo (she’s a staff member here at the ranch) and I was telling her about how I had struggled a lot with forgiving someone in my past, and my heart grew bitter toward them. She said to me, well, the Bible doesn’t tell us not to be angry. It tells us not to let the sun go down on your anger. She had no idea what we are studying in IBS class. When the Lord has something to tell us He often does so in a way of repetition.

I struggle with forgiving people who continually hurt me. I went through years never forgiving someone who constantly hurt me, I would sleep angry with them, rise angry with them, and go through my day focusing on how mad at them I was. I gave up praying for them or having any hope in their salvation, or transformation. I harbored bitterness towards them and spoke harshly about them.

We are commanded to be light to this dark and hopeless world. How can we shine with the love of the Lord if we have hidden anger festering in our hearts? We cant. If I had been slow to anger and quick to love I may have been a light shining in this persons dark life, and I could be a powerful witness. I regret letting anger and hurt shut me down, but I thank the Lord that now, despite my behavior, another soul has been added to the kingdom.

I need to learn from this past experience and practice forgiving people right when I begin to feel frustrated with them. I want bitterness to be far from me.

Written: 9/2/11

IBS: More Vulnerability

Ephesians 4:25—

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

It seems this has been coming up quite a bit lately. I have had so many conversations this week surrounding this very topic. Not because I struggle with honesty, actually I have no problem telling the truth when people ask for it…as long as it doesn’t concern myself. When it comes to opening up and being honest about what is going on inside of my heart, I struggle. I have walls that encompass me, and a shield to protect me. When someone asks how I am doing it is easy for me to smile and say all is well, when in reality, I am oppressed and upset.

2 Corinthians 6:12-13 says, “You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also.

Widen your heart. Be Vulnerable. Vulnerability is an art. This is something I’ve learned many times over this past year, however putting it into practice is a lot harder than it may seem. To be vulnerable, to put away the shields we hide behind, leaves us wide open for attack. When we let down our shield and become real with each other, showing our raw emotions and past or current pains we can grow together in a whole new way. It’s hard to get close to people, or let people get close to you, when there are walls to avoid and dark places that nobody knows about. Put away your falsehoods, be true to yourself and those around you, and grow together as a family. I have always struggled with this. Why would I let people know what I’m thinking about or what is heavy on my heart? But I have learned since I’ve been here at the ranch, when you allow yourself to be open and vulnerable you are allowing people to speak truth and encouragement into your life. I need to step out from behind my shields, break down my walls and be honest with people.

IBS: The Art Of Vulnerability

Ephesians 4:24—and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

Yesterday I was struck by one of the interns IBS. He was real, and vulnerable before us and I was instantly convicted. I had things to say about yesterdays verse that I was too embarrassed to share in front of everyone, so I decided that today, I'm going to

 be more honest. More vulnerable. I was created after the likeness of God. He created me. He thought me up, and knit together every fiber of my being. He gave me every character trait, every personality trait, everything about me is a gift from Him. Something I’ve struggled with my whole life, but especially since I’ve been here, is self-worth. To look at myself and say, “I’ve been made in the image of God, and I am exactly who I am meant to be,” has never been easy for me, actually I don’t think I’ve ever done that. I begin everyday with self-loathing, and end everyday upset with myself for not doing better. I never stop to think that Jesus died, a bloody death, so that I could be who He made me to be. I don’t want to be ungrateful for everything that He has done for me, but by hating myself, I am being ungrateful.

I was listening to a sermon by Matt Chandler last night and He was talking about Romans 8, and how Jesus loves us and prays for us.

Romans 8:34-35—“…Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ…” Christ is interceding for us. He is praying for us, Jesus, Lord of all the earth is praying for me. I must be worth something if the Creator is praying for me, if nothing can separate me from His love!

For so long I have hated myself, oh but I had justification! I had reason and logic! I didn’t make it through high school, I never passed a test or knew the right answer, and I never cared enough to try or pay attention. I never understood the things that teenagers are suppose to understand. I don’t have any gifts or talents. All the things I’m passionate about I’m horrible at. I don’t have any skills to bring to the table.

What would Jesus want with me? I have nothing.

Well, I’ve been so encouraged by Pastor Craig this morning. I don’t have money, or knowledge, or specific talents, but I have faith! I know the Lord can work through me because I have complete faith that He will! I believe that the Lord will show me how He wants to use me in His own time, and until then I will exercise my faith. I loved when Pastor Craig said that the more we exercise our faith, the bigger channels we become for the work of the Lord. He challenged us to stop comparing ourselves to others, and be content with what the Lord has blessed us with. By being content and filled with faith we put ourselves in a position where God’s grace can flow through us. I need to be honest with myself and work at seeing myself the way the Lord sees me. I need to be content in who I am so that the Lord can move through me anyway He may choose to. 

Written: 9/31/11

IBS: New Eyes

Ephesians 4:23—

And to be renewed in the spirit of your minds

In verse 22 Paul explains the negative side of becoming a new creation (putting off your old self) but in verse 23 we see the positive transformation of believing and following Christ.

Colossians 3:9-10 says “Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.”

We are instructed to be bold. Go to those who have yet to put off their old self and let them see your renewed heart. Show the world that you are an image of your Creator. Colossians also tells us not to be taken captive by philosophy or empty deceit. If you want to be renewed be renewed in the image of Jesus, not the image of science or of man. Before I made the decision to follow Jesus I searched for things to devote my time to; causes to support, beliefs to follow, people to speak light into my life; I was searching for something of this world to renew my mind. I went in and out of phases quickly, because everything here on earth is shallow, and self-centered. When you follow things of the flesh you will be sure to come up empty. To be renewed in the image of Christ you remove the body of flesh. Once you are removed, you’ve put off your old self, the next step is to align yourself with your new identity.

The transformation of Christians is an ongoing process, but I assure you, it is far from monotonous. Gods mercies are new every morning!

When your mind is renewed by Christ it’s like you’re given new eyes. You’re able to wake up in the morning and count new blessings. You begin to gain a whole new perspective. The more you meditate on Gods word, and the more you talk with Him and walk with Him the more you are enlightened and strengthened to see what God has for you and stay in His perfect will, and even better, the more you spend time with Him, the more in love you fall with Him.

I need to remember that I have been made new! I am a new creation, and I need to show that through my actions. I need to wake up in the morning, thank the Lord for his new mercies, and then spend every moment that day loving Jesus in a way that is so loud even those who stop up their ears car hear it!

Luke 10:27—And he answered, “You shall love the Lord you God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all you mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”

All this aside—I have things that I hold onto and allow to hold me back. I need to let go of them and give them to God because He desires to make me new. I know that if I gave Him everything that is ugly about me, and gave Him all my shame, He would take all of that and make something beautiful out of it. If I would “put off” the way I view myself and let Jesus transform my eyes I know I would be so much more useful towards the furthering of the kingdom. 

8/30/11